August 9th thru August 15th, 2011

Grandma came to visit and brought my little brother Ben along.

The Boys of course absolutely adore my Mom!!!

This is Ben, my "not so little brother" anymore.  He is 6 foot 5 inches and only 16 years old.   We are 15 years apart in age.  When I left for Ricks College he was just 3 years old.  He is still that little baby to me.  I have know idea how he has grown up so fast.  When John and I got married, he had just turned 9 years old.  Just as Ben has grown up way too quickly, I know my boys will too.  It makes me sad to think that it is such a short time that they are young.  I hope that I can enjoy every moment.

My Fondest Memory of Ben

It was hard for me to leave for college since Ben was just a baby and my other little brother was 7 years old.  I felt like I was going to miss out on so much.  Everyday, I could count on a phone call from Ben.  Yes, he had my phone number memorized at the age of 3.  He would call multiple times a day until I was actually at my apartment to take his phone call.  My roommates thought it was so cute.  He would always say the say same things in his cute little voice.  "Hi Mawie(Marie)!  I wuv(love) you!  I miss you!  When are you coming home?...  Those phone calls meant the world to me at the time since my first year at college was really rough.  I always looked forward to that short sweet little conversation each day!

Can you tell who the shrimp of the family is?  Yes me!  My mom is 5'9'' or 5'10", my dad 6'1", Ben 6'5", Jonathan is 6' 4", Jacob is 6'2", Daniel is 6'2."  I was 5'4.5" from the time I was 12 years old until I was 29 years old.  Crazy thing is that every time I have been measured here in Indiana it comes out that I'm 5'5.5" or 5'6".  Lately, out of shock, I have the nursing assistants recheck my height at least two times.  Have I grown, are the height measurements different out east, or has pilates and weight training straightened out my spine?  My guess would be the third.

Jacqueline and Gary came to town for a quick morning visit while my mom and brother were in town.  My boys LOVE Jacqueline!!!   

This is typical Josh.  He is always making something out of anything he can find.  He has quite the imagination!!!  What do you think this is?

Nate always has to have Holly and Finn (from "Cars 2") with him.

I cannot help loving this ornery face.

Josh making friends at the neighborhood park.  He just talked and talked non-stop.

Josh playing soccer with his new friends

Notice what's at Nate's feet?  He seems to be dreamily imaging something about Holly and Sally.

 Just had to throw this in here to embarrass John and Ben.  Let's see if they ever notice it in the blog, they might make me remove it.

I think these two look alike.

Ben hasn't changed since he was 3 years old when I left home to college, he's just gotten ginormous!

Just had to throw these in.  This is Nate during nap time.  He always has to have his cars and will play as  long as he can until sleep overtakes him.

I love how he decided to smile for the camera when I was just taking pictures to remember how he was at this age during nap time.

Josh's First Day of School

August 10th, 2011

Nate got so excited when he saw the school bus!  Here he is pointing to it!  Screaming and shouting, "Yay, the bus is here!  Yay...Yay!!!"

These two are best friends.  I'm glad Josh will only be gone for a few hours in the morning instead of all day!  I was a little sad when Josh left and I really missed him after I realized he was actually gone.  Looking at the pictures it amazes me how grown up he looks!  I know school will be great for him and that it will be nice for Nate and I to spend one-on-one time.  I love spending time alone with Nate because he is so fun and "chill."

This morning was full of surprises for Josh.  I first surprised Josh with breakfast in bed.  I made him pancakes with cantaloupe and milk.  His sleepy response was, "You made me breakfast in bed because I'm big now?"  It was so cute.  He was so happy and devoured his breakfast.  After he got completely ready, the biggest surprise was yet to come.  Grandma Susan and Uncle Ben were here (they flew in really late last night)!  To say he was excited would be an understatement.  I got it on video, but have no way for our ancient video camera (as in 6 years old, which is ancient in our technology driven society) footage to get downloaded on the computer and we didn't have time for pics with my sleepy mom and brother.  We will get plenty of pictures while they are out here!  I really hope he loves school and makes great friends!

In Memory of Kali, Charlie, and Boy

August 4th, 2011

Yesterday, while John was mowing the lawn, he found this little surprise just outside of Josh's bedroom window where the trampoline had been conveniently protecting this little nest.

Baby Rabbits

 They were just recently born, maybe a few days old.

Three Baby Rabbits

August 5th, 2011

First thing in the morning Josh had to check on them and wanted pictures with them.  He was so excited to have a "pet of his own."  At this point I wasn't sure what to think of having these baby rabbits in our backyard.  I did think that maybe the mama rabbit was crazy for putting them in our yard with two little boys.

The boys were thrilled, especially Josh.  Josh fell in love with them immediately and felt it his duty to be an animal rescuer (he might have gotten this idea from Diego).  Since he never saw their mother he thought they needed him to take care of them.

All morning he begged me to be able to take care of them.  I insisted that they needed to be left alone so their mommy could take care of them.  Over a million questions and pleadings were asked with the same explanation...."it's not good for them if we touch them too much; they're mommy won't be able to take care of them if your around because rabbits are scared of people.  No you cannot give them a bath!  Bunnies don't take baths; their mommy will keep them clean.  No, you cannot bring them in the house!  No, you cannot have them in your bedroom or your tent!,  etc. etc. etc......"

Well, did Josh listen?  Maybe, for almost 2 hours.

As soon as he got the chance to "take care of them" without me knowing, he took it.

The morning started off wonderfully.  The weather was nice.  It was only in the late 70s/low 80s (it's been in the 100s with close to 100% humidity for a month, it even got up to 110 or 115 a few weeks ago), so it was finally cool enough to go on a nice walk.  It's been a month with this relentless heat wave and drought.  Afterwards, I embarked on yard work (transplanting flowers, trimming flowers and bushes, etc.) that I'd been planning to tackle on the first day the heat wave let up.  The boys were playing alongside me like they always do.  Josh decided to go inside for "a minute" and a minute later Nate decided to go in too.  I went to go check on them and they were playing really well, so I decided to quickly finish one little thing so my flowers wouldn't die since I would have to get back to the yard work later.  I didn't quite finish taking care of my flower that was near death because I didn't want to leave these two out of sight for even a minute.  I planned on doing a minute here and minute there while checking in on them.  Well, after my first minute or less.....

I went in and heard the bath water running (Note: we live in a tiny one level house.  The bathroom is visible to almost the entire house and only about 10 to 12 feet from the front door where I was working)

I went in and they had started a bath and were playing together having a great time.  I went in and looked in the tub because I sensed something was wrong.  I saw nothing but some soap bubbles in the water, which they are not allowed to have soap in their baths (eczema).  I thought that was what they were trying to hide from me.  So, they took an uneventful bath for about 10 more minutes and got out.  And much to my horror Josh was holding one of the baby rabbits....I asked "was the rabbit in the bathtub with you?"  Josh's reply was NO.  So, I asked Nate.  Nate said YES.... I then proceeded to ask where the other two rabbits were and what happened.  Nate acted suspicious as he was laying on his rainbow blanket and acting even more protective of his favorite blanket.  I peered under his blanket and there were the other two.  I started screaming and crying out of shock.....Yes, I know a little over dramatic, but to my horror I realized at that moment that they had drowned those innocent baby rabbits with me right there not knowing.  I felt horrible.  They only needed less than a minute to get them into the house in Josh's tent.  Then the next moment they had, they took them from the tent and put them in the bath with them.  Thinking they were doing them a great service by helping them to get clean.  I don't know where they were when I scanned the bath water, either they were hiding them in the shower curtain or sitting on them in the water.  The second thought makes me nauseous.

The next 2 1/2 hours were spent cleaning up this mess (which really only took the boys 2 minutes to create) and sanitizing the boys and all the things the rabbits had come in contact with.

Josh felt horrible and he literally cried all day and then cried himself to sleep (this is a boy who never ever cries).  He felt so bad that he killed the baby rabbits.  The rest of the day all I heard from Josh with tears and sobbing was "I miss them so much!  Will I ever see them again?!  Charlie was so nice to me, he was the nicest.  Kali, she loved me and she was so sweet and the nicest!  Can't we have them back?  How did they die?  Where did they go?  I'm going to kill Heaven and get them back!  Heaven cannot take them!  I'm going to have them back!  Why can't I have them back? etc., etc, etc.....

We had a funeral, just Josh and I, during Nate's nap.  We buried them in the backyard right by Josh's window.  We laid them in a red shoe box wrapped in paper towels.  Josh picked them 3 clover flowers, one for each of them, and then he drew them some pictures and wrote them a letter.  It read; "I love you rabbits.  Thank you for being so nice to me.  Love, Josh."  He had me write it because he was too sad to write it himself.  He then put the flowers and the letter in the shoe box with them.  He said goodbye to them while sobbing and said, "I'm so sorry, I hurt you... I didn't mean to... I love you.  Goodbye."  This was followed by intense sobbing.  Then we buried them and put a triangular shaped rock over their grave. 

Above: baby rabbits in the clouds with their names that Josh gave them.   Josh waving goodbye to them with the red shoebox right next to him.

I learned today, again for the trillionth time, that I cannot take my eyes off this kid for even a second, which is so exhausting.  I really, really hope Josh learned to listen and to really obey me today, since he really saw the consequences of not listening and going behind my back.

Nate was really sad and cried when he realized they were dead and then as soon as I could I put him down for a nap.  The rest of the day he went with the flow, like his usual self.  He doesn't seem to really understand fully what happened.  Nate doesn't seem scarred, but Josh so far seems to be.  Josh has said many times today, "I will be sad forever, I will not stop crying....Mommy, are you sad too?  I am so sad.  I miss them so much!"

Note to self and particularly to John (who came home two days ago saying that he was thinking about getting a dog for Josh.  I was shocked at his suggestion and I said NO!!! since I would be the one taking care of it):  NO PETS!!!  Especially after today, since his first "so called pet" lived less than 24 hours!